'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him/her drink!'

From July 2015

When you hear this statement who do you think of? I'm sure at some point in time there has been someone that you've tried to help, but for whatever reason, they just won't listen and will not take your advice. They want to do it their way or a different way rather than the way you know has worked in the past. Kind of like talking to a teenager. They know it all and as a parent, you don't know anything.

As a BNI Director, I often have these feelings when I try to help those people/Chapters who are struggling. They look to 'BNI' for help or to blame, but yet they have not followed the 'system' for success BNI has in place. BNI is much like any other successful franchise. Let's take McDonalds for example. When someone buys a McDonald's franchise they are given a proven system to follow. They are given training and ongoing support. So is it with BNI. So why is it when things aren't working the way they should, that a member/Chapter points the finger and blames BNI, when in fact the member/Chapter has not followed the 'system' that has been provided.

BNI has been in existence for over 30 years. The processes, policies, and procedures that are currently in place were developed by BNI members. They are consistently being tweaked and updated based on the feedback from members. There is a reason for every policy, process, and procedure that is currently in place. I have been associated with BNI for 8+ years. I must say that in the beginning as a member, I did not understand how or why everything was the way it was. Through the years and becoming a Director has opened my eyes to why things are done the way they are done. The 'why' reminds me of a 3 year old asking 'Why' after every explanation that is given. Perhaps if more members would ask these questions they could get a better understanding of policies and procedures, rather than just not doing them because they don't feel it's necessary, don't have time, involves work, or thinks it doesn't apply to them.

The BNI Chapters I support, I feel, are like my children. I want to help them be successful. But like my children, I can't help them if they don't want or won't accept my help. I have to step back and watch them struggle and make their own mistakes and suffer the consequences. As much as I want to help, I can't until they are willing to accept it.

So if you, as a member, are struggling or your Chapter needs help in a certain area, ask for help. Ask your Director. There is a wealth of knowledge and information that spans 30 years and someone else or another Chapter has gone through the same experience. Learn from other successful members/Chapters. Ask questions of those members/Chapters who are successful. Follow the tried and proven system that has worked for so many years. Why re-invent the wheel.